This was originally posted on November 4th, 2009 and was lost in the massive Nibble Nuke with 5 other posts. Luckily, I had printed hard copies of those 5 posts or they well would have been gone forever. I have re-typed this from the original hard copy since many of you have asked, and we well knowing that it might help other lads who are struggling whether to tell a parent or not.
The day started well awkward. Christopher hurried on the tram and sat next to me, squeezing into me. Charles walked right by and sat a few seats back, even though there was room next to Chris. I asked Christopher what was wrong, and he said Charles well hated him. I asked why, but Chris said he didn’t know. When we got off the tram, Charles held back, and Chris and I walked in to school together, running into Ben. I told Ben to have a chat with Christopher about the bed wetting thing, and so he walked with Chris and I held back to confront Charles.
Charles tried to ignore me, but I grabbed his arm and made him stop. I stared into his eyes and asked what the bloody hell was the problem! He’d been ignoring everyone for the past day, and now he was being an outright twat! I tried to reason with him and asked him what was buggering him, but he just said, “Nothing!”, and started to walk away. I grabbed his arm again and spun him around, looking him square in the eyes and told him he was jeopardizing a lot of friendships by acting this way, and that we well needed to talk and get things sorted out. First chimes sounded, but I held him there. I told him to not be so selfish, explaining that he well might have hurt Christopher, if Chris really did have an embarrassing problem.
“He does,” Ben said, walking up to us. He said he had a little chat with Christopher, and he does indeed have a bed-wetting problem, “Just like I used to have,” Ben added, causing Charles to look wide-eyed at Ben. Then Ben walked up to Charles and looked him straight in the eyes, pointing without touching. Charles’ eyes were beginning to brim with tears as Ben said, “You, Charles, are the one with the problem. If you can’t accept others with faults, then that is your problem, and until you offer an apology to Christopher, as well as Amar and me and any others you have avoided since yesterday, you will not be on my good chum’s list anymore.
The tears were rolling down Charles’ cheeks as he looked at me, and then back at Ben before running off. I looked at Ben and asked him if that was a bit harsh. Ben just said, “Amar! If you had a bed wetting problem and someone made fun of you, how would you feel?” I knew Ben was right and that I would feel well awful without an understanding apology.
Ben and I had another chat about Charles after lunch in Study Chamber 1. We noticed that he wasn’t in morning classes, or at lunch, and Ben said he was starting to feel a bit bad for being so harsh on Charles, but he added, “Someone had to make him realize he hurt another person’s feelings! By making fun of Christopher’s problem, which could hurt him getting over wetting the bed.” I asked Ben what we should do. He said we should just wait to see if Charles thinks about things and comes around to well realize his mistake. He also said we should apologize to Charles as well. My Ben, the psychologist.
Erik was down to one crutch! He said he could put a little bit of weight on his sprained ankle and blamed the improvement on my kisses on his toes and ankle and mouth and. . . He had another perfect score on his maths problems! And I helped him again to his dorm room and got him into his sweat pants. I gave him a quick kiss as chimes sounded.
Ben and I tried calling Charles after school to apologize to him, but his Mum said he wasn’t taking our calls.
And then the shocker of the day – well not really – but kind of, after all this day has been so far. . .
Before dinner, dad knocked on my door as I was finishing my Sciences studies. He wondered if I had made a decision as to when I wanted to “be a boarder” for a few days. We sat on my bed and I asked him to help me think of the best days, and I would ask the Dean Master, since he said I could do it any time before holiday in December. Dad said maybe the middle of next week, and I figured that would probably be well fine.
He asked if I had asked Ben to be my roommate, and I jumped on that question with excitement and said, “Yes! I’d already asked my best chum in the world, and I’d just die if his Mum and dad wouldn’t let him!! They well haven’t decided yet and Ben and I are well beside ourselves . . .” But then I stopped, thinking I just realized what dad might be getting to. He looked at me and smiled, giving me a real nice hug. Then he said, “Amar? You fancy Ben more than just a best chum, don’t you.” I lowered my head, kind of embarrassed, but felt the tears brim in my eyes as I nodded and he put his strong arm around my shoulder and hugged me into him.
He said, “It’s not what others think of you, or what you want to be, Amar. It’s more important to know who you are right here.” He tapped my chest over my heart. “Your Mum and I love you so much. Where ever you are going, or whatever you become – we will be so proud of you – because we love you. We’re proud of you now and always will be, no matter what. You’re still young, and have many challenges ahead of you. You’ll make some good choices and a few bad choices, but you will learn from all of them. If this is just a phase you are going through and you out grow it? Fine, but if you choose this, your Mum and I will accept you no matter what.” He kissed my cheek, telling me he loved me so very much.
I think I cried for 10 minutes or more as dad hugged me into him, stroking my hair to try and calm my sobs. It was well strange, like a big weight was lifted off me. I told him I didn’t know I was this way until I was 11 and started having different feeling toward other lads. I told him how much I loved Ben and how he was like a big brother to me and so much more! He was my counselor, my chum, my mentor, my caring person! I also said how Erik was the other best thing that came into my life as a little brother, how it felt so grand how he looked up to me and how wonderful it felt mentoring him. I told dad I was sorry for the way I was and hoped it wasn’t a disappointment to him and Mum.
Dad told me not to worry myself and took my face in his hands and looked at me, kissing my forehead. “Amar, Amar, Amar. . . I love you. Your Mum loves you. You are a good, caring person with a well big heart! Now and even later in life, although we may not have grandchildren, we will always accept you for WHO YOU ARE.” I looked at dad and hugged him, kissing him, saying, “Maybe Ben and me could adopt so you could be a granddad.” He grabbed my shoulders and looked at me with wide eyes. “You’ve only just turned 14, Amar. Don’t be thinking like that. It would well upset your Mum. You have to also think, as you get older and move on in life, if Ben is going to be there when you’re 16? 18? 21?”
I said, “Well sure! We’re best chums forever!” But then I thought about it a minute, and started to worry. I don’t think I could live without Ben in my life.
Dad hugged me into him as I felt the tears start to flow again. . .