The Benliness Report

I guess more people wanted Erik to do this post, but he said he wasn’t up to it because I guess Parker wasn’t up to it and Amar couldn’t convince the both of them to be up to it.  David decided to make himself “unavailable”, but at least I convinced him to email me a “report” as a special reporter. So it looks like you’re stuck mostly with me for a few pages! Lol

It’s kind of been a while since I’ve done this, so you might find me a bit rusty around the edges, but I’ll try to do my best as Amar would prefer. (And also see if I can add a few photos for a bit of spice.) I hope you enjoy the twist I gave this, because I just wanted to have a bit of fun and show my doofy side.

Oh, by the way, Amar chose the title, “A Bit of Benliness!” He probably thought I would have done something lame like “Ben Here”, or “This is Ben!” But I decided to change it anyhow and treat this like a BBC Newscast – hence the title I chose!

So in Three, Two, One. . .

Good Evening and welcome to the BBC School Report. I’m Ben Matthew with The Benliness Report, and we start our newscast with some breaking news from the red carpet in downtown Amsterdam:

It has been reported that famous author, scholar, Master Liaison, and Theatrical Director Amar Edward, has been spotted arriving at the Concertgebouw Orchestra Hall with his special date for the evening, a lad named Carl; a dashing lad who attends the same school.

The dapper couple are quite stunning together and already appear to be enjoying themselves as they mingled with the crowd before grabbing their programmes and heading into the Great Hall to locate their seats. They are here for the Ultimate Vision of Beethoven performance by the Chamber Orchestra of Europe with Bernard Haitink conducting.

It is well known among Amar and Carls’ circle of friends that the two well love the likes of Ludwig Van Beethoven, and will be enjoying the likes of the Overture ‘Leonore’, the Fourth Symphony in B flat, and the Seventh Symphony in A.

An insider reports the two could possibly spend an intimate time together later this evening as they discuss and review the concert afterwards in a private location.

In other news:

Reports that a bit of rival jealousy broke out earlier in the day are being investigated by the Scotland Yard inside ***** School. It appears two students by the name of Shayne and Lars were vying for a bit of attention from Amar and Carl, and were even seen in the Dining Hall blowing kisses at the two.

It has long been known that Shayne has had a mad crush on both Amar and Carl, and today’s episode of blatant puckering and kiss blowing proved this. Of course, Lars, being an accomplice in these air kissing gestures, seems at this point to be caught in the middle of a love triangle.

As one observer mentioned off camera, “Those two [Shayne & Lars] do need to go out on a date of their own to find the hidden love they evidently have for each other.”


In Sports:

And now we have a special report from our reporter in the field about today’s events in Gyms. Take it away David.

Thanks, Ben.

As all the Forms at ***** School wind down their Basketball Championship playoffs, the 10th Form in particular had a couple of big upsets today!

Percy’s Pirates took a stunning blow on the courts this afternoon with a devastating defeat against James’ Jets by ten points! This was especially upsetting to the team’s Captain, Percy, who was so pissered at his team’s loss that he refused to be interviewed. To make matters worse, he was seen taking his frustration out on the wall, but in doing so, badly jammed his large toe and was last seen limping angrily to the locker room, where it was also rumoured he literally went mental and ripped off his gyms shirt in anger! Sheesh, what a sore loser!

In another bloody upset, Ben’s Badgers, a team favoured to go on to win the Championship Game on Monday, was raped out of a playoff position, losing by four points to the underdog team of Tom’s Titans.

Afterward, in the consoling huddle after their loss, Ben continued to praise his team for their efforts, and there were claps on the back, several hugs, and some high fives!

There was even a quick kiss exchanged between the Captain and his long time teammate in life, Amar. It was also learned in the locker room later that another quick kiss took place between Amar and a teammate, well known for his love of ojos verdes!

So now it is on to the final playoff game for the Championship on Monday between James’ Jets and Tom’s Titans. It should prove to be quite the exciting game!

Reporting via email, this is David James.

Now back to Ben in the newsroom.

Thank you for your report, David.


In Medical News:

As reported a couple of weeks ago, a fragile, small waif by the name of Francis Reece had fractured his right arm on the basketball courts in Gyms. Because of the location of the two fractures, Reece’s Pieces, as he is lovingly called by his close chums, had to have a large and awkward plaster cast on his arm.

This cumbersome cast made it impossible for the little lad to bend his arm since it ran from his wrist to his arm pit.

But according to the milk-drinking tyke, the extra calcium evidently helped him in the healing process and today he had his larger, heavy plaster cast removed, and replaced by a lighter fibreglass cast, much to his delight, in the flaming colour of red!

In his own words, Reece’s Pieces was heard to say:

“I was a bit nervous when the Doctor turned on the saw, but he promised me he wouldn’t saw my arm off and he was right. My arm underneath looked real nasty and I almost puked, but the nurse gently washed it and then they took an x-ray. That’s when they said I could get a different cast on, and I chose a bright red one! It is sweet to be able to bend my elbow again!”

Ah, the miracle of science technology!

It is good to see Reece’s Pieces manoeuvring his arm better, and he appears much more comfortable. His close chum and roommate, Joopey was the first to autograph his new cast.


More news on the Theatre Scene:

It appears the stage production of The Prince and the Pauper is gaining speed as the cast and crew are gliding through the last few days of February. Once March comes roaring in, things will start moving at a faster pace as the lads begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel known as Production Week.

The set construction head, along with his helpers, have nearly finished putting together the jail cell, and will begin work on the Palace Gate starting Monday. Monday will also be the day some of the Art Club members will begin painting the jail cell a dirty grey.

The Set Designer will also begin etching his drawings on several of the canvas flats next week, and some of the more advanced artists of the Art Club crew will be brought in to begin on the artistic level of painting the scenery.

The fine cast of characters, under the direction of Amar Edward, is doing a phenomenal job, memorizing lines, developing their characteristics, and now beginning to move with grace about the stage. Some have already memorized all their lines, such as Joopey, Prince Brendan, Pauper Braden, and Lady (Shayne) Gwen.

But we can’t fail to mention someone special; He’s faster on the light board than a speeding bullet, more powerful with the spotlight than a locomotive; he’s able to leap onto the stage in a single bound (not really! He uses the stairs!) So who disguised as Erik Christian, it’s Super Light Man!


In future news Amar will be looking at having a platform built to hold the spotlight. He plans to incorporate the talents of a fine Carpenter and son team.

It’s a platform that will need to be high enough for the spotlight to shine well over the heads of the audience members. Most likely it will also be large enough to house the table for the light and sound boards.

That wraps it up for this news report.

Reporting live from Amsterdam, I’m Ben Matthew. Goodnight.

Special thanks to Amar for giving suggestions and parts of the storylines for this newscast throughout the course of this news day.

Sign Off

This entry was posted in A Ben Post, Miscellaneous, School Days. Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to The Benliness Report

  1. Ringvejen says:

    Ben and David I think you both have done a fantastic job as stand-in for Amar today and I think you should give yourselves a pat on the back for a very entertaining blog.
    I am sure that Amar will be well pleased with your efforts and it was full of interesting facts about the day but presented in a very different style to Amars but never the less very descriptively written.
    Thank you once again
    Regards and hugs

    BEN SAYS: Thanks a lot, Ringvejen! :P

  2. Josh says:

    Awesome!!! Great work Ben. I think you might have put yourself into a position where everyone will be demanding more of the Ben Reports, maybe on a weekly basis or at least once a month. I am sure Amar and Carl are having a great time at the concert. Once the lights are out, who knows what will be going on. One of the cool things about hearing about the play is how so many are lending their talent and hard work to the production. You have to think of a way to take some pics of the sets so we can see your handiwork. But I really did enjoy your Benliness Report and hope to see more in the future.

    BEN SAYS: I think once the lights go out, MUSIC will be going on. ;)

  3. Greg says:

    Oh my, Benliness indeed!

    This post was great, Ben. I don’t know what it is but your posts always have this certain quality that can’t quite be pegged, but then again that is why the term “benliness” was invented and why it has stuck lol

    I am at rehearsal for the musical right now so I don’t have time to comment about anything else.

    Love and hugs,

    BEN SAYS: Thanks, Greg! :)

  4. Jerbear says:

    LOL – Now that was more fun than the BBC has produced in years! Not since Fawlty Towers or Monty Python has so much laughter been generated!

    Seriously though, you did a magnificent job with a handy assist from sport’s reporter David and some suggestions from the master himself, one Amar Edward with the ojos verdes a lad name Miguel desires but whose heart belongs to his Benliness himself. It is nice to know you have now added intrepid reporter to your list of possible professions. ;-)

    You have a heart nearly as big as Amar himself. You are generously allowing Amar to spend a night out with another lad with whom he shares a love of Ludwig. You of course know that Carl is only borrowing Amar’s hand for the evening because his heart belongs to you! :-) So, from the bottom of my heart I thank you for your contribution to this fine blog! Good night and sweet dreams of Amar. :-)


    BEN SAYS: Thank you. Yes, I do trust my Amar. ;)

  5. Hazedge says:

    Bravo!!!! *clap clap clap*

    This is brilliant. I can imagine you as a news presenter on a set :D

    Looks like Percy can’t control his frustration well. Talk about attitute problem.
    BTW, do you mean that Miguel kisses Amar yet again??? If he kisses Carl tonight than it is a hatrick (Ben, Miguel, Carl) on one night. Damn LUCKY !

    Overall, this is a great post. Such a fresh style. Is this your idea or Amar? Very cool. So is there going to be another ‘news’ post the next trip on North Sea? Pleaseeee :D

    p/s – David, I thought you are manly enough to write a post :P Your sport news is fun to read, you should try a full post next time bro.

    HUGS everyone and I can’t wait for an inside news/gossips about Amar and Carl’s date.

    BEN SAYS: Thanks! (taking his bow) Yes, the format for this post was my idea. And I also think there will be a few more kisses exchanged before the night is over. ;)

  6. Day says:

    The Benliness Report — Brilliant!

    What a clever idea and well stunning job of journalistic reporting done by the likes of Ben Matthew and his ace file reporter, David!

    I was riveted to the screen as you vividly described and showed in photos those two dashing lads about town, famed Master Liaison and Director, Amar Edward and renowned violinist, Carl, mingling with the concert audience before the brilliant Beethoven performance. I’ve heard rumors of a stolen kiss — could that be possible!

    If so, I hope it doesn’t fan the flames of jealousy at school with Shayne and Lars, two lads well known for their flamboyancy. I fear their burning desire for Amar and Carl might well set the school ablaze!

    I was saddened to hear from David, your ace reporter in the field, of Ben’s Badger’s loss in the basketball tourney. But a smile returned in hearing how generous and affirming the captain was to the team following the game, unlike the pugnacious pissered prat Percy — Well done Captain Ben!

    In medical news, it was grand to hear that the young tyke Reece had gotten his well heavy cast replaced. He has shown great merit in overcoming obstacles and carrying on with his duties in the face of adversity — Hear, hear Reece’s Pieces!

    And on the school theater scene, it was grand to get an insider’s glimpse into the making of the sets and the upcoming platform construction with the aid of a certain Master Carpenter and his talented son leading the way. Kudos to the Art Club members who are lending an artful hand. And with Master Lighting Engineer, Erik at the control board and manning the spotlight, I’m sure the production will be a dazzling success!

    All together, an excellent and entertaining piece of journalistic reporting!

    Thanks Ben Edward and David!


    BEN SAYS: Thanks, Mate! It was grand fun. :P

  7. tinricky says:

    Good Post and thanks a bunch.
    Sad to hear that you are out of the tournment. Well played though and sounds like you all had fun doing it. Fun is more important than winning in inter school sports.
    Give Amar a hug and kiss for all of us and thanks again for a wonderful post.

    BEN SAYS: Thanks!! :)

  8. Evan says:

    Reading this post, I find myself reminded of the Monty Python line: ” …and now for something completely different…”. You have both the stark difference in style from a typical post, but also lovely humour throughout and just the slightest hint of that oddball style.

    Unfortunate that Ben’s Badgers have been eliminated from the tournament but at least you took the loss with good grace – certainly much better than Percy who gives quite literal meaning to the term “sore loser”. But with very competitive people, that kind of outburst is rather common. The intensity and emotion stirred up in competition has to be let out somehow – if there is no celebration to be had, frustration will likely be let out in much the way Percy did it.

    Well done on a great report together with your award-winning news team. Well, at least if I had an award to give, you would certainly win it. ;)


    BEN SAYS: Thanks, Evan! :)

  9. John says:

    Well, I for one say Three Cheers for Ben!
    Who is this randy lad called Amar that is kissing all the time, out on the court and
    in the locker room who knows what could happen tonight ? (kidding)

    BEN SAYS: Oh, there will be more kisses later tonight, I’m certain. ;)

  10. LUIS says:

    ¡HAHAHAHA! Very good and very ingenious; BEN !!

    BEN SAYS: Thanks!

  11. michael says:

    What a Brilliant report you did Mr Ben!!

    I so thank you, and David for taking up the reins so that your (our favorite) love can have an uninterrupted evening with a dear lad named Carl.

    Poor Percy, such a sore looser that he went and let his anger get the best of him. Also what a blow to have your Badgers get beat by Tom’s Titan’s I was totally rooting for you lol.

    Great to hear that Reece’s arm is healing so quickly so that he was able to have the heavy cumbersome cast removed to be replaced by a much lighter and more manageable one.

    As for the show, it was grand to get a glimpse of the construction of the sets from a certain cute Redheaded carpenters son. Special thanks to the art club members stepping up and helping with the painting of the sets. And to hear about how wonderful a job our Super Light man is doing running the light board . I bet it is going to be such a wonderful show.

    Thanks again Ben and David for the excellent piece of news journalism. Grand Hugs to you both


    BEN SAYS: Thanks so much! :)

  12. Daniel says:

    Hi Ben , and David ,

    This was alot of fun to read , Thank you both for doing it.


  13. Ken says:

    Bravo Ben!!! A well delightful post, you have brought a new zest to Amar’s World.
    David’s report was most fascinating, though a bit biased. It was fun to read and reread. Sorry about the loss. I wish Tom the best in Mondays game.
    I am glad Reeces pieces got a smaller cast. I hope Joopey can still help him dry his back.
    Well time to reread this GRAND post. I think you should receive an award for your excellence in Journalism. I hope there are many Amar’s angel kisses for you and David this weekend.
    Big Hugs,

    I am so delighted, I thought this was going to be just another dreary, rainy, winter day without Amar.

    BEN SAYS: Thanks! :)

  14. Jeremy says:

    Ben & David,
    Great, great report. Lots of information but with a deft touch of humor. Not hard to figure out why you two are so close to Amar.
    Best Wishes,

  15. Gimpy says:

    A very late comment because I, too, was out for the evening, but honestly, all the way home I couldn’t wait to get online and find out who pinch-hit for Mr. Ojos Verdes. And all I can say is…..


    Brilliantly conceived, executed and photo(ed). You and your Love are so well-matched in so many ways, it is something wonderful to observe. I am truly sorry that your basketball team was beaten, but what is more important is how you, as captain, took the loss, and your example to your team was how a leader should behave, and not at all unexpected. Poor losers are so immature, aren’t they? You also showed your Benliness by mentioning so many others in describing the day, especially with your perspective on preparations for the play, which I never tire reading about.

    Finally, what shone through every line was your wonderful sense of humor. Super Light Man, indeed! And with the best photo of all!

    Once again, Ben and David – well done, you two! Most importantly, it appears that both of you had a lot of fun in preparing this post. And, were I personnel director for the BBC, I would hire you both in a hot minute!


    BEN SAYS: Thanks a LOT! ;)

  16. Jeff V says:

    Greetings Ben,

    First off a brilliant and outstanding post that I had to read a couple of times because it was just way to funny and insightful. Simply put a joy to read. Hope that Amar and Carl had an outstanding time at the Concert. Finally I am nominating you for a European Emmy for the Benliness News Report.

    PS: Thanks to Amar for allowing us the fans and readers another night of great reading material and for your time.

    All the best to everyone.

    Jeff V

    BEN SAYS: :P

  17. steevo says:

    Great post. If you two did a once a month post (1st Friday maybe?) you could save up special “tidbits” from your unique perspectives. More a commentary/opinion piece perhaps than the day’s news? It’s called a sidebar* over here. Just a thought.

    side·bar   [sahyd-bahr] noun
    1. follow-up ( def. 3b ) .
    2. a typographically distinct section of a page, as in a book or magazine, that amplifies or highlights the main text.


    BEN SAYS: Perhaps. :-?

  18. Doug says:


    Sorry this is so late. I worked late Friday and we went out for an even later dinner, so only logged in Saturday morning to see who (if anyone) had stepped in to cover for Amar.

    I decided to enjoy your well brilliant news report with my coffee and a bagel, except that it took me half an hour to eat the bagel because I was laughing too hard to chew! You captured the BBC news “voice” perfectly. It felt like I was listening to World Service, a special report from ***** School in Amsterdam, with Chief Correspondent Benjamin Mathew and Special Correspondent David on Sports.

    The first Benliness Report was a brilliant job from start to finish, Ben. Amar should have no fears about your standing in when needed. Nor should he feel any need to guide your writing to stop it being “lame”, lol. You have a unique, fun and very engaging style all your own. Oh… I guess that’s why we call it “Benliness”! ;)

    Please thank David for his contribution too. I’d cast part of my vote for him and his sports report, while not the news we’d hoped for about the Badgers, was really well done. Interesting that Percy is still a bit of a loose cannon, emotionally. I remember when he thought he could do Amar’s job so easily (and how that lasted about 5 minutes when he was given the chance). Kicking a wall usually doesn’t work out so well, hope his toe heals up okay. Personally, I’d rather be on the team that shares kisses, even in defeat! ;)

    One hopes you’ll take future opportunities to entertain and inform us whenever Amar’s hands are, err, otherwise engaged. Your Report was full of little gems that prove what a keen eye and quick wit you have. Amar’s a lucky young man to have you at his side and we’re lucky to get to hear your voice now and then. Thanks!


    BEN SAYS: Wow, I didn’t think it was worthy of THAT much praise. Thanks. :oops:

  19. LittleMark says:

    Oh, wow, Ben!!!! What a great post!!!

    If this is you when you’re rusty, well ….

    It was both very entertaining and informative, and super creative!!!

    David’s part was awesome too….thanks David!!!!

    Sorry to hear the basketball team got beat. You probably didn’t foul enough!!! ;) lol

    It truly was an awesome post guys…Thanks so much. (I’m still chuckling over it.)


    BEN SAYS: Thanks, Mark. ;)

  20. van says:

    Oh Ben (the one and only dear Ben), I think at times, He don”t deserve Ya! As for the first sentence of your “Benliness Report”,… brilliant, klutsy, genius! I can only imagine the fit of giggles your Love had upon reading it. My comments about those poor lad’s “upness” must be held in check due to Amar’s wishes to keep his site wholesome, grrr! And thanks also to David for his sports report; sad to hear the baggers got their bums kicked, (thats butts over here), sorry. What with all the distractions of the play and all, not to mention “the Date”, mmm! I’m also pleased hear Reece’s heavy cast has been rpl’d, by one more enabling and that he’s becoming more outward as well. Sorry I couldn’t write you last evening when I first read your report, got home late. Afraid I got to spin away from Ben and Amar’s world; love and bye for now.

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